Sleeping To Dream About You

He came home and surprised me.. I was sleeping and when I woke up he was there beside me.. smiling at me.. promising that he would never leave again..

Well.. that's what happened in my dream last night anyway.. *sigh* I woke up this morning praying that my dream was reality, but it wasn't. Needless to say I was bummed.. and it only made the emptiness in my heart ache even more..

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We're in the finals days of this horrible beast (aka, deployment) and I feel like everyone is expecting me to jump & down with joy as each day passes but I just can't. I am beyond excited (and very very anxious) that he is coming home, but he's not here yet.. he's still there.. in a war zone.. and I'm still here without him.. praying that he is safe and well. The harsh reality that anything could happen at any time has not left my mind.. and I won't be over the moon-jumping up & down excited or even able to breathe again until I see him walking off that bus towards me.. It's just how it's always been. Most people don't get it.. and honestly I don't think anyone will understand until you've actually been through it.. but I can't be the only mil spouse that feels this way right before a homecoming, right?